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Claire Kenny
Features Writer
@my40pluslife
1:01 AM 8th January 2025
lifestyle

It’s OK Not To Start The New Year On A High.

Midlife blogger Claire Kenny is wondering whether her New Year blip is the menopause’s latest attempt to get her to hide away.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
As a writer, I’d be pretty crap if I edited out all the bad bits and only shared the good bits. When I used to read blogs rather than write them, I remember that flood of relief and recognition when someone articulated something I was going through and I discovered I wasn’t the only one.

Which is why instead of sharing a 2024 ‘best moments’ reel, I’m sharing this.

After several years of writing about how strong and content I am as a single woman, I’ve actually felt quite lonely over Christmas and New Year. I’ve found myself noticing how other people find love without having to suffer dating apps, and wondered why no matter how many events and activities I go to or how many times I push myself out of my comfort zone, there appears to be an invisible force field around me saying ‘do not approach’.

I’ve also lapsed into scrolling Facebook to torture myself with everyone else’s relationships, holidays and highlights. This is soooo 2019 and I really should know better.

The first half of 2024 was dream-come-true awesome. I had my own radio show, finally felt able to listen to my heart and go fully freelance, and felt brave and strong, feeling sure the universe would reward me. And it did. I went on an all expenses paid cruise with a client and worked with the most amazing people. It almost felt too good to be true.

The latter part of last year was more challenging. I’ve felt the raw vulnerability of being a single person, parent and business owner, and I’ve also felt relationships and friendships change and shift. While this is of course normal and makes space for new people and experiences, it’s sad too.

I don’t like feeling this way so to shake myself out of it, I followed my own advice and went on a solo adventure. But while wandering the cobbled streets of York in winter sunshine would normally be just the ticket, being surrounded by couples holding hands and sipping takeaway chocolate made me feel worse. As did eating service station M&S buffet food in my hotel room when all I wanted was a lovely curry but didn’t feel brave enough to dine out alone (although I’m pleased to share that I did venture out on night two).

Midlife ‘influencer’ my arse.

Could it be the menopause?

I have to wonder whether my New Year blip is the latest attempt by mother nature and her horrible henchman, the menopause, to get me to hide away. The whack-a-mole nature of perimenopause symptoms has been a strong theme when talking to several friends lately. My doctor recently switched me from tablets to gel and progesterone. You only take the tablets for 12 days out of your cycle and I’ve heard from several people that on the days you don’t take them, it’s like being back at square one. Which kind of sums up how I’ve been feeling.

Perimenopause is really not for the fainthearted. But reminding myself that this miserable git temporarily encamped in my body is NOT the true me and is probably just a hormonal imbalance has proved massively helpful. As has reminding myself just how much I have to be thankful for.

What I’m going through is a drop in the ocean compared to the people I know who’ve been through unimaginable hardship this year. But as a writer, I choose to share things because it doesn’t just help my readers – it helps me. So as I tap away on my laptop in a beautiful pub in York with my glass of prosecco, I’m reminded that if something’s shit, I have the power to change it. Getting back up and trying again says far more about you than your circumstances or mood.

I’ve proved to myself time and time again that if there’s nothing to get excited about, I can create it. Through listening to my intuition, using manifestation, and taking action, I created the beautiful rollercoaster ride I’ve been on since I started sharing my writing, and I’m perfectly capable of creating another one.
Which is exactly what I’ll do.

And if you feel a little flat as you start the New Year, you will too.